"Congrats, kid, you got Happy to revolt. I'm a little proud, honestly." Tony rustled a bag of chips hard enough to be audible on the line, phone nestled between his shoulder and ear as he struggled to pull the plastic apart. "Damn, alright, is it necessary to use industrial adhesive for some Fritos? Great way to keep America in shape."

A popping and a rush of air were followed by a soft but disappointed sigh. "And there's maybe a dozen in here. Definitely not enough to get us through this conversation."