Ghost of Christmas Future

[st_arkintern]

"Mr. Stark?"

Peter stands at the edge of the bed that Tony shares with Thor. He wears the Iron Spider armor Tony made for him, the faint glint of the moon through the thin slit between either side of the curtain reflecting off the suit's dark colors.

Peter's hair is styled differently from the Peter here at the inn; it's longer, more wild, even floppy. School had grown more and more demanding as the end of his sophomore year approached and balancing school and his time as Spider-Man was difficult. He had promised May he'd maintain his grades as part of the Spider-Man Negotiations of 2017, but criminals didn't stop just because he had two papers to write by Friday, a quiz tomorrow, and a test next Tuesday.

Hair had been less of a priority. Peter couldn't put off his homework if he wanted to continue being Spider-Man; he couldn't put off his evening patrol if he wanted to protect Queens, either. There were no serious long-term consequences to not getting his hair cut (save for perhaps more bullying from Flash, who was prone to bullying him anyway). A haircut could wait until later.

Peter always thought there'd be more time later.

Tony doesn't stir. Peter presses his lips together -- a nervous habit acquired when he was still alive -- and draws a little closer. He resists the natural urge to place a hand on Tony's shoulder to wake him; he knows that his fingers will slip right through. Instead he repeats, this time a little louder:

"Mr. Stark?"

Comments

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“You couldn’t have known.” Tony wasn’t one for empty platitudes, but he was sincere. “You were doing whatever you could.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"Sure." What else can he possibly say to that? He wanted to believe that he was doing everything he could, but in the end, it was not a desire to save or protect that left Stormbreaker lodged in Thanos' chest. It was a real desire to see Thanos suffer, to make sure he knew exactly who it was who killed him.

That wasn't everything he could.

He gives Tony's hand a tight squeeze, then lets it go.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

As the warm weight left his cold fingers, Tony knit his hands together.

“I saw it.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor turns and looks at Tony.

"You saw it."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“It was the last thing I saw.” Tony was brought back to the foolish moment of hope seeing Thor descend from on high—to the crushing realization when he saw Stormbreaker miss the mark entirely.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor lets out a single hoarse laugh.

"And still you asked."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“I knew there was something. I’ve known it for a long time. Just not what. I thought...hoped...”

That he’d hear it from Thor.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor goes back to staring at the wall. He wished he had the courage to tell Tony about it before he saw it, but he couldn't imagine Tony ever having the means to see what he had done.

And he had been afraid. Even now, though Tony told him he'd forgive him, even though Tony had held his hand, he felt like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

There was some part of him that wished that Tony would get angry. That was what he deserved. It was like Eitri had said back on Nidavellir; he was supposed to protect them, and in the end, he didn't.

"That obvious?" Thor looks at Tony and attempts a smile.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“Yeah.” Tony returned the forced smile with one of his own, though it quickly faded.

“You gave in. He won. Everyone paid the price.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor looks back to the wall again.

"You're right."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony rose, pacing slowly around the room. He was the picture of composure, despite the last few hours.

“We were this close on Titan. Quill gave in. Thanos won. Maybe we could have stopped him there.” He stopped before the open door to the bathroom, catching a reflection of himself.

“Siberia. I was this close to persuading Rogers back.” He shook his head slowly. “Then I gave in. Fractured The Avengers beyond all hope. Maybe we could have stopped Thanos if our home base was intact. Instead I watched my goddamn son murdered like he was dirt under Thanos’ heel—” he jerked an arm out, shattering the mirror with a blast of plasma. It had all spilled over the moment he recalled Peter.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor watches the door to the bathroom from where he sits on the bed. He can't see Tony from here -- or the mirror, which from the sound of it, he's shattered.

Thor has to push aside any image his mind is materializing of Peter during his last moments. He had seen enough people disintegrate into dust to put together a convincing visual.

"Did you see the battlefield when you saw your vision?" he asks. "Everyone was together, fighting Thanos and his children and still, none of them succeeded. Even with you there with them, none of you would have been able to defeat him. Not when he had as many stones as he did."

So don't blame yourself.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“Damnit.“ Tony slammed his hand back against the wall at his side—and again, and again, and again, making the walls shake angrily. “DAMNIT—!”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor pushes himself off the bed and pads into the bathroom. The next time Tony's fist, Thor catches it.

Hand tight around Tony's fist, he turns Tony around so he's facing him.

Then pushes Tony's chin up so he has to look at him.

"This is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“Don’t lie in my goddamn face.” Tony gnashed his teeth, beginning to tremble violently with another surge of helpless adrenaline. “We all fucked up and you know it.”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor reaches out and touches the sides of Tony's arms; they're vibrating against his open palm.

"How are you responsible for the failure on Titan?"

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony’s muscles were seizing, and he could have thrown up. It was like all the fun of withdrawal with none of the drinking. “Stop. If you’ve got this energy to abdicate me, then spare an ounce for your self.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"How is it your fault, Tony?" he demands. He hadn't overlooked that Tony had avoided answering the question, and he was going to keep pushing for it. "Everything you've done has been to protect Earth and the people on it. You going through that portal and nearly dying for it. Ultron. Everything you have done, good or bad has been for them and yet you blame yourself for someone else's failures."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"I haven't." Despite himself, the trembling grew more violent as he struggled to reign himself in. "It wasn't anything but vengeance going through my head the second I faced down Buchanan Barnes."

[st_ormbreaker]

It's a feeling Thor knows all too well; vengeance had driven him every second of his journey after the attack on The Statesman and the universe had paid dearly for it.

Thor's grip on Tony's arms loosens and he runs his hands up and down them.

"Let's go sit down."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Though resistant, as if his mind equated the mere act of sitting with giving up, Tony did yield to being lead.

“Peter knows, too.” He sunk back down at Thor’s side. “I don’t know what I’m gonna say.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"You believe that things can be changed when we return home," he says. "I now believe it, too." At least for the others. "If he needs anything, it is hope. Give him that."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“Right.” Hope. That had been Peter’s entire reason for showing him to begin with. “You’re right.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"Whatever you need from me, just name it," Thor says. He looks over at Tony, trying to sum up the man's present condition. It's not easy to tell what he's feeling right now.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony looked back and down to the ground. He had no idea what he needed—though if there was one habit that had rubbed off on him from being with the man, it was being true to your impulses, and his were screaming for some physical comfort. He fell against Thor’s side, claiming his endless warmth.